Posted by dewde in Marriage on 17. Jun, 2009 | Comments
I reach up and write with large, friendly letters the words “Stupid American” into the fog, followed by an arrow that points down and ends where my face begins. The words are written backwards inside the bus so that spectators outside the bus can read them in the right direction.
And there it was. The moment. The kind of moment that, as a parent, you both long for and fear at the same time. But as an Uncle, you get utterly blindsided by its very existence. One second I’m sucking down a hot dog twice as long as my large intestine, the next I’m staring down a once in a lifetime opportunity to validate this boy’s very existence.
The kind of compassion I’m talking about does not tug at your heart and captivate your attention. It is not the soft compassion reserved for poverty stricken orphans or leukemia patients or quadriplegics. This compassion smells like beer and hasn’t shaved in weeks. It is hard and calloused and abrasive to your sensibilities. If you don’t look for it, you will not find it.
Eventually this turmoil, and the pushy people, wore me down. So I did it. I guess you could call it a prayer. I was alone in my room and I had a conversation with “God”. I told Him that I did not believe He existed and that this was His chance to prove to me, once and for all, that He did.
The nurse says, “You don’t mind if I show the other nurses, do you?” to which I reply, “Not at all, I’m a social butterfly and love the attention.” But of course it comes out, “Nob ab ahh, Ib ah thoboo buhwuhfwuh an wub the athenthuhn.” Drool, drool, grin. Realizing my impairment, I nod my head no-problem style and give a smile.
Posted by dewde in General on 07. Jun, 2009 | Comments
I’ve shared with you that my arrest was the best thing that could have happened. I don’t change that belief. I ask that you judge me as a man, not as a sex offender. That doesn’t define me. It’s something I did. And believe me, I am not trying to minimize that. It’s horrible and something I can’t imagine doing again.
Posted by dewde in Christianity on 31. May, 2009 | Comments
Here is a thing that always bugged me as an Atheist and hasn’t changed since I crossed over to the La La Land of Christian Lemmingism. I seem to remember getting a lot of crap over the notion that, as an Atheist, I believed this one life was all I had.
“Isn’t it sad or depressing [...]
Posted by dewde in Christianity on 19. May, 2009 | Comments
So I prayed. I prayed leading up to your sentencing. I did my best to show you grace on the site. I asked God to give you justice and mercy, and I specifically remember praying that God would ignore any notions I had about how much justice and how much mercy because I was a stupid, broken man with very little qualification to make such a decision.
Posted by dewde in Christianity on 18. May, 2009 | Comments
Immediately after I dropped Part 1, I realized that I had screwed up. The things I shared, while true, were directed at another person and I had never given that person the common courtesy of telling him those things directly. So I wrote him a letter. Then I sat on it for 2 weeks. I re-read it saturday with fresh eyes and I made some corrections and put it in an envelope. By “corrections” I mean I removed a butt load of fluff, sugar-coating, and word-smithing that were an attempt to make myself sound less like a tool and more like a wise, concerned friend.
Posted by dewde in General on 17. May, 2009 | Comments
The past few Saturdays we’ve watched this show on ABC called Wipeout. It’s sort of an Americanized, spay/neutered version of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. As such, it is more family friendly. The first time our little one Savannah saw someone fall off the new Nards of Doom (a.k.a The Big Balls) she actually started crying. [...]
