dewde.com » General

It Is My Pleasure to Present… Our Son

dewde — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 00:10:32 +0000

Elliot Allen Ames arrived on Earth around 3:20am this past Monday morning. Due to the planet’s gravity, he registered 6 lbs 11 oz and he was 19.5 inches long. His 2 sisters Savannah and Sydney, who had arrived on the planet 2 and 5 years prior, were delighted to finally fulfill their dreams to hold him in their arms.Popular Posts:

Rockin the Tree

dewde — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 00:09:03 +0000

It’s no secret, Carlos Whitaker loves time lapse video. Last year he recorded his family decorating the tree using an awesome song from August Burns Red. This year, I decided to follow suit.Popular Posts:

How to Get Your Hand Aired on Mtv and Christian Television, Respectively

dewde — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 13:40:59 +0000

Why is it that when I get an email from an Mtv show producer, like I did this spring, about airing a prank video my friends and I created, where my left hand is visible in one scene for 2 seconds, I get all excited and I email people and I bring it up in conversation. But when I get an email from a Christian television show producer, like I did last week, about airing a 4 minute expose on my spiritual life story, where nearly every scene is filled with various photographs of me, all of me, and only me, and that was produced by a world class team of professionals, I’m all like “Neat! I should tell my bible study group!”

Internet at large… meet my soul. My soul… meet the Internet. You two will get along famously.

In fact, I think the only time I twittered about the Christian show was when I re-mentioned the Mtv one. I still think this tweet sums up my feelings nicely.

I already wrote about my experience with making the Christian video in my post How My Brain Was Washed by Christians. So I won’t rehash that here. The segment is part of the program Northpoint.tv and you can watch it online the day it airs, Sunday August 30th, if you don’t have FamilyNet.

I don’t know much about the Mtv show. I know it’s called Pranked and here is what Mashable had to say about it. Apparently it will be hosted by the guys from College Humor which, you should know, is not really safe for work most days and may or may not trip your family’s Internet content filter.

Here is the suck part. They haven’t been forthcoming with information about my segment. So while the show debuts Thursday, August 27th, I don’t really know if my clip will be in that episode. In fact, according to the paperwork I signed… it may not be featured at all. I know I made the first cut, and I know I got them the footage early, but that’s it. Oh, and even if I do make the grade, I could be mocked heavily. The show format indicates that 2 smartass types will be commentating over the videos as they play, so it stands within reason that my video could very well be so lame that the only way to salvage “the funny” is ridicule.

I just want to make people laugh and I’m not all that particular about how it happens. I don’t mind being the butt of someone’s joke.

But you don’t have to wait until Thursday or possibly forever! Here is the video.

So there you have it. My hand may or may not be visible on Mtv and/or Christian television within 2 days of each other! And while I’m not sure whether or not God still wears trucker hats, ahem Archie, I cannot deny the possibility that he is punking me.Popular Posts:

A Year in Review or How to Become a Writer, Maybe

dewde — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 04:42:43 +0000

On July 30th I celebrated the 1 year anniversary of my return to blogging. My goal was to increase readership from 2 to 4. According to my feedburner statistics page, I have 143 subscribers. Determining subscribers is not an exact science and I don’t believe that number for a moment. If I had to guess I would say half that. Maybe 70 or 80 tops.

I published 49 posts (this one will make 50) and I have 47 unpublished drafts. Here are my top 5 most-viewed posts:

1. Me and My Freakish Uvula – 858 views
2. The Child Brothels of Svay Pak – 711 views
3. Inauguration Day, Expletives, and Racial Slurs – 517 views
4. Hiding My Shame – 430 views
5. That Day I Exorcised Demons. At Burger King. – 384 views

The first one brings in views via google searches from my fellow freakish uvula bearing brethren. The second and third bring in views from individuals who are googling for “child brothels” and “f*cking nigers” respectively. I hope the first lot take the time to listen to the IJM letter. I hope the second lot never realize they are very nearly functionally illiterate. Or I hope that they do, and it causes them a terrific amount of mental anguish on a routine basis.

Here are my top 5 personal favorite posts:

1. Rerun: God and Darwin and Me on One Knee – 53 views
2. A Question Twice The Size Of My Large Intestine – 173 views
3. An Unconscionable Addiction Part 4 – 183 views
4. Rape and Coffee – 103 views
5. Keeping Your Privates, Private – 127 views

I did a series of parenting tip videos that are consistently my lowest viewed posts. So I stopped doing them after episode #5. I can’t see how they would be useful to my kids in the future, if they aren’t useful to you in the present.

I have a grand total of 13,735 views. That’s more than a bit nutty to me. Here is a break-down by month:

As expected, the more posts I write in a month, the more views I get. Also, controversial posts spark comments. And comments drive more page views because each person engaged in the conversation comes back a few times to see if anyone responded to them. On a high viewing day, a single person can represent many of the “page views” for the day in question. So if you want traffic on your blog here is what you do. Post a lot and occasionally say outlandish things. That’s not my strategy because I don’t have one. I say what I want to say when I want to say it, always considering that my daughters, and now my son, may one day read these words.

This blog has generated 584 legitimate comments and 2,573 spam comments. And while some of those are me showing appreciation to you, for your kind or insightful words, most are not me at all. When I started, I hoped that blogging publicly, as opposed to journaling privately, would generate conversations and that these conversations would help validate some of my views, fill in gaps in others, deconstruct others still, and help me grow as a person all around. Trust me when I say that I have not been disappointed in this area.

I don’t know if this means I have a successful blog. I do know that I have benefitted from this transaction considerably. I’ve always been a reader and that hasn’t changed. But now I feel myself becoming a writer. I’ve started to read books and blogs on writing. And sure, this may all be flights of passing fancy, but also, it may not.

About 4 years ago I revealed to my wife a growing desire to become a licensed marriage and family therapist. It was late at night, before bed. A fire had been unexpectedly lit within me and I explained it to her with an impressive, albeit false, nonchalance. When I was finished talking she looked at me with a contemplative-but-perplexed look and said, with less reservation than I would have preferred, “Aren’t you supposed to have a marriage worth emulating before becoming one of those?” Now, my wife is not always right about everything, but she was right in this moment and today I am thankful for her frankness in a way that my wounded pride would not permit at the time.

I tell you this story because the other day I asked my wife if she thought I could be a successful writer. She cocked her head to one side, grinned mischievously, and replied, “We’ll see.”Popular Posts:

Pick a Gender, Any Gender

dewde — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 15:47:01 +0000

Today we go spelunking deep into the far reaches Dewdette’s womb to discover the gender of our unborn child.

Care to take a wager?

Popular Posts:

Our Own Private Eden

dewde — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 03:40:32 +0000

Our church does this thing that is fairly popular with Evangelicals. They facilitate the process for regular attenders to form “small groups”. We meet once a week, usually 3-4 weeks in a row and then we take a week off each month. You’re matched up by age, location, and stage of life.

In our group we do bible studies and read books together. Often, we choose topics related to marriage and child-raising. It’s pretty laid back and it has added tremendous value to our marital relationship and our parenting ability.

One of the unexpected delights (and disappointments) is that we are encouraged to break up every year and a half or so and form a new group. This is usually a sad time at first, but it keeps the cast of characters in our lives fresh and unique. You end up befriending people who have the very basics in common with you, and sometimes little else. If it wasn’t for small group you never would have met.

Our good friends Jody, Jennifer and baby Makenna, who we met via small group, are an excellent example. I don’t golf. I’m not “outdoorsy”. I don’t have a green thumb. On the surface, Jody and I don’t have a great deal in common. Needless to say, we don’t run in the same social circles. But we’re friends now. And we have way more in common that I ever would have imagined in the beginning. He’s the kind of guy you do not want to be around if you have a weak bladder because he is so funny he will make you pee your pants. His dedication to his family and wife is an example to me.

One of the benefits we’ve enjoyed from being his friend is that on the 4th of July we get an all access pass to a well-manicured private golf course. We relax. We let the kids run as fast and (almost) as far as they want. It’s refreshing and beautiful.

While all the well-to-do rich folk are enjoying perfectly grilled filet mignon and salmon on the deck of the clubhouse, we’re lounging about on the back nine, sipping sweet tea and chewing on the Colonel’s extra crispy fried chicken, in our own private Eden.

It’s a tradition I hope we keep for many years to come.Popular Posts:

Liquor Me Up With Some Religion Already

dewde — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 03:05:42 +0000

Lately I’ve been wondering what the big, hairy deal is with Christians and profanity. I was reading Church Marketing Sucks and I was taken aback by a recent post. Pastor Ed from Texas is discouraged by modern day cussing pastors. He used examples of the offending vulgarities and they were words like “pissed off” and “crap” and “sucks” and frankly I don’t get it.

First of all, someone needs to teach that dude how to cuss all right and proper like. I know profanity and that isn’t it! I mean, didn’t God himself have some strong feelings about “He that pisseth against the wall“?

I know I haven’t been in the club very long, but I’m still mystified. I’m assuming if he doesn’t like crap, he certainly doesn’t approve of real profanity. I read the bible roughly 5 or 6 times a week. I actually enjoy it and look forward to it. So I would think that the concerns with cussing would be, you know, obvious to me. So far they are not.

I grew up in a military family from the northern U.S. so I don’t even notice profanity half the time. It was always just a part of the scenery. It’s not even considered profane by the speaker or the recipient in most cases. It’s common dialog.

Ironically, however, I have made it a personal goal not to use profanity and for the most part, I don’t. I have my moments where I slip into old habits, but largely my language is church-appropriate on a daily basis. Here’s the thing though, I don’t do it for Jesus or for any religious conviction. My reasoning is that I want people to understand me and consider my points of view. I want to be seen as credible (don’t we all?). I don’t want my choice of words to interfere with what I have to say. In light of this, I took a look at all people and I realized the following:

A. People who cuss are tolerant of people who do not. For the most part they are understanding and respectful of the culture of the non-profane.

B. People who don’t cuss are not tolerant of people who do. For the most part if you use profanity, they will stop listening to you and avoid you entirely.

Therefore:

C. The path of most effective communication is one without cussing.

I commented in response to the “cussing pastor” post and now I’m wondering if it’s a valid perspective.

Ed has Southern Baptist tunnel vision. And I’m not talking about his theology, I’m talking about his culture. To the majority of the U.S., it’s only the reached people who are offended by “bad language”.

So if you want to save the saved, keep on wasting time on this topic. If you want to introduce unreached people to Jesus, speak to them plainly, in their vernacular.

I’m a hypocrite. I know this. Not only am I wasting more time on this, I’ve invited you to do the same. If I’d have known I was going to write this post, I can assure you I wouldn’t have written that .

I’m not advocating that people who do not use cuss words start using them in order to artificially impress others. Unless of course someone has a video camera rolling because as that scene plays out in my mind it is awkward and hilarious. What I am advocating, or at least questioning, is whether or not we should be judging Christians who already use cuss words as a natural part of their vocabulary. If I am a Christian and I’m hanging out with my friends who use cuss words as a part of everyday language, and I am fluent in the same vernacular, is it right or wrong for me to speak the common tongue?

And so, a paradox. On the one hand, I don’t want my girls to grow up with potty-mouths. On the other, I don’t want them to feel awkward or uncomfortable around people that choose to be different than them.

It seems to me that we Christians are artisan wall-builders. And the tragedy is that all of the walls we erect just so happen to be strategically positioned between nonbelievers and Jesus.

Is it only the reached people that are offended by profanity? If so, does that say something? Is profanity in the ear of the beholder? I’m searching, here. So bust out your bibles and liquor me up with some religion already. Clearly, I need it.Popular Posts:

Sydney vs. Super Sour Candy

dewde — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 15:42:21 +0000

We tried to warn her. She thought it was funny at first. You’ll notice her hamming it up, until the candy bit her back!

Experience is the best teacher, right?Popular Posts:

Dewde-spotting

dewde — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 17:00:38 +0000

You may have spotted me making my rounds on the Internet this week.

First, one of my posts was picked up as an article for Transparent Christian Magazine, a site run by Jason Elkins. Quite an honor.

Then this morning I discovered that a comment of mine won a contest over at Stuff Christians Like. The contest was to write a descriptive profile for your favorite Christian stereotype.

dewde said…
In order for an adult to “find Jesus”, they have to be brainwashed by the Christians during a season of particularly extreme vulnerability. Such as a divorce, or loss, or unemployment, or criminal conviction of some sort.

God, as it were, never seems to seek out the healthy, happy, successful types.

(except me)

So yeah. Busy week. How’s it going for you?Popular Posts:

Look Ma, I’m Fame-ish!

dewde — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 12:14:23 +0000

Exactly how messed up do you have to be to allow me to guest-post on your blog? As messed up as the kids over at ChurchCrunch, apparently. I was accepted into a group blogging project. The idea is that 16 different people read the same book and report on one chapter each.

My guess is that by the time you’ve read 16 different perspectives on 16 different chapters of one author’s book, your brain will be so soupy that you’ll wish you’d just read the stupid book yourself instead. BUT WAIT! Before you do that, meander over and read my article on chapter 3 first.

In all seriousness, thanks for the opportunity John. You run a good show. I’m proud to have been a part, and I can’t wait to read all the other authors’ posts.Popular Posts:

My Arrest Was The Best Thing That Could Have Happened

dewde — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 02:04:46 +0000

The following letter is a reply to a series of posts that begins here. It is from a convicted and confessed sex offender who is presently in prison for his crimes.

Chris,

Thanks for finally writing ! You never did tell me writing letters “is just not your thing.” Well I’m glad you took the courage to write this one. I have re-read it twice and I’m almost certain that won’t be enough.

I honor you. My judgement is most people don’t have the guts to be honest. I judge they skirt around the truth, or just avoid it with superficial letters. I’m glad you chose the other route.

It’s tuesday night around 10. I’m laying up in my bunk listening to the radio and the Cavaliers game. On clear nights I can pick up a Cleveland station on AM. It’s nice to hear familiar voices from home.

I’m not really sure how I’m going to get my point across.

I’ve shared with you that my arrest was the best thing that could have happened. I don’t change that belief. I ask that you judge me as a man, not as a sex offender. That doesn’t define me. It’s something I did. And believe me, I am not trying to minimize that. It’s horrible and something I can’t imagine doing again. Fortunately I don’t have direct victims,but that doesn’t mean I don’t consider the indirect victims. I have great remorse and struggle with being forgiven. And being forgiven may not be the correct phrase, because I believe saying I’m sorry is too easy. I believe ‘I’m sorry’ is too easy to say and get away with. I’m guilty of it. For me, it’s just a scape goat. “I’m sorry that you were a victim of my crime.” Sounds kind of blah, and not connected to me. “When I chose pictures of you being abused I was wrong. I can only imagine the pain you suffer and if I hadn’t sought out your picture, maybe you wouldn’t have to suffer any longer.” That’s what I mean.

Chris, I continue to put it all out there, here. I’m trying to change peoples perceptions, one at a time. I respect everyone’s opinions. Ya, I don’t like the negative ones, but I still respect them and I don’t let them define me. My ex-wife didn’t like the fact that I was so open. I respect that. The last letter she wrote me, when she ceased communication, she called me a monster. Unfortunately I am respecting her wishes not to communicate, but I’d love to share with you why I’m just the opposite.

The lights are off now so it’s kinda hard to see.

I don’t know what life has in store for me. I know I want to make a difference. What that’ll be I’m not sure. Right now I’m making a difference in me. It all starts there.

Sure sucks writing in the dark. My neighbor is reading so I get a little light pollution from him.

There’s about 1100 guys here. Rumor is 600 or so are sex offenders. I’d say 25% of those are doing something about their issues. I struggle too. There’s guys here that have done horrendous things. Some continue their behavior here. I’m pissed and disgusted, using your words. If we ever have that cup of coffee I can tell you.

I spent 2 weekends ago with 12 of my peers and 14 volunteers doing 3 days of work on me. I was in a group of 3 other men with their volunteers. I was able to shine some light on some areas in my life. It was awesome. As par for the course, I was 100% open with these men. Men who told me they were disgusted with what I’d done, but I also proved to them that it doesn’t define who I am. There’s a naming process at the end that the volunteer that was with me gives me. He names me Wild Stallion. He described me as majestic, powerful, and free. A gentle warrior and a masculine, mature male. I own all that. I’m a man among men who believes he can change the world one man at a time. How’s that for a mission statement? I don’t have any tattoos, but if I did, I’d have one that said, “Only God can judge me.”

Chris, I respect you for your thoughts. You may never get past the fears, and I’m not asking you to. I thank you for telling me your truths. I want to continue to be your friend, on whatever level is comfortable with you.

I’m glad your wife supports you on sending me books. I’m looking forward to the one from Francis Chan you talked about. All your books get read. My friend David has the Deadly Viper. I really liked that one. There’s nothing that I really need to read. I’m reading Ludlum right now. We have a decent library and there’s always magazines about. I really enjoy the food magazines, I get 3 of them now.

When you find some time share with me any responses you got on your blog.

Thanks for your truths and honesty.

Your friend,

Billy

I’m inviting you to speak to Billy. I will be sending the entire series with comments to him. I’ll wait a week or so. Respond as if he doesn’t exist and will never read your words, respond directly to him, respond to me, or ignore this post entirely.

It’s up to you.Popular Posts:

Stupid People, Bodily Harm, Fun For Whole Family

dewde — Sun, 17 May 2009 05:29:29 +0000

The past few Saturdays we’ve watched this show on ABC called Wipeout. It’s sort of an Americanized, spay/neutered version of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. As such, it is more family friendly. The first time our little one Savannah saw someone fall off the new Nards of Doom (a.k.a The Big Balls) she actually started crying. Which made us laugh more, of course.

Anyway, today as we watched Savannah was laughing with us! So we can check “Desensitized Children to Pain of Others” off our parenting check list.

Bonus.

Savannah got bored watching stupid people hurt themselves, Dewdette went upstairs to finish laundry, and Sydney decided to get out of the bleachers and into the game. Naturally, I grabbed my video camera.Popular Posts:

How To Surprise Your Mom On Mother’s Day

dewde — Mon, 11 May 2009 13:20:00 +0000

This is a video I made for my Mom and my Mother-in-law for Mother’s Day. Take a look if you want to know how to really make Mom smile next year. It wasn’t hard, really. Just take photos of a few seemingly random objects throughout the house, make a quick video, and then VOILA! Happy Mommies abound!Popular Posts:

An Unconscionable Addiction – Part 1

dewde — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 04:46:19 +0000

I first became acquainted with Bill in January of 2006. He showed up on a sexual addiction recovery website, which is run by a friend of mine, called Higher Calling (http://higher-calling.com). In the typical fashion Bill introduced himself to the community. Also in the typical fashion he told us he had been using pornography regularly since he was young, roughly 10 years old. Then, in an atypical fashion, he informed us that he would be sentenced in 5 days for possession and distribution of child pornography.

Let us not rush past this. Bill collected, used, and distributed child pornography.

Most people think that they, themselves, have very few enemies. I am no different. I have a very high opinion of myself in this regard. I’m not saying it’s justified, mind you. I’m saying I have it. I am quite convinced that I have ample grace and mercy for my fellow man. So when I read in the bible that I should pray for my enemies, most days I have a hard time pinning down anyone that I truly consider falls into this category.

Unless I remember people like Bill.

You know why it’s so easy to hate people like him? Of course you do. Say it with me, “Because they deserve it!” They directly, and indirectly, spread and grow and propagate a culture bent on preying upon the most innocent among us for their own selfish gratification. It is unconscionable. Unforgivable. Irreparable. And surely, rightly, in the eyes of man and the eyes of God, they deserve wrath.

Which is why I think it’s important to note that what I did next was not born out of compassion.

I do not remember feeling any compassion for Bill in fact, only his victims. The kids in the photographs and videos. His family. His wife whose home was raided by armed federal agents. But not Bill. For Bill I felt what any rational person would feel. A combination of anger, disgust, and contempt. But something about this bothered me. In spite of myself, I started to feel convicted. Just being angry at Bill, and wanting justice to be done, wasn’t enough. I wanted more. I wanted to be more than just self-righteous. I wanted to be a part of the solution. It’s not that being a pissed off spectator isn’t gratifying. You and I both know that it is. But that wasn’t enough. I wanted to help. I wanted to help Bill become the sort of person that would never, ever, EVER do this sort of thing again.

Now, my delusions of grandeur were not so monumental that I considered myself up to this task. Not only do I lack the skill, but I’m fairly selfish with my time. And then there was the problem with Bill living half a country away. Compound that with his subsequent sentencing of 5-7 years in a federal penitentiary… you get the idea. It’s a lot of trouble, really. Especially for some random stranger I met on the Internet. It would be much easier to just put the whole thing out of my mind.

But I didn’t.

Next: An Unconscionable Addiction – Part 2Popular Posts:

This Is An Inside Joke

dewde — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 04:35:41 +0000

Well, it’s an inside joke between me and anyone that subscribes to Human3rror.com, ChurchCrunch.com, or follows John on Twitter. So yeah. Inside joke. It doesn’t exactly qualify for an “outside joke”, but it’s at least on the porch (southern version) or in the mudroom (northern version).

UPDATE:
Human3rror has not only retaliated, but escalated things considerably. Popular Posts:

Life I Love You, All Is Groovy

dewde — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 06:05:39 +0000

In November we took a walk together as a family, Sydney on her bike and Savannah in her “car.” We ended up raiding a neighbors back yard for a spell. As is often the case, I brought my trusty Canon HV20.

Click here for larger, HD version.

Another day, and therefore another opportunity, is upon us to relish the youth of our children. Or to put it another way, busy parents suck.Popular Posts:

Video Project: My Family Portrait

dewde — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 04:36:13 +0000

Late last year I was surfing the best video site around, if you love HD and are an artsy-fartsy videographer type, when I stumbled upon this brilliant, heartwarming little video project called My Family Portrait. The first one I watched was by Clan McCloud, and I was inspired to follow suit instantly, but the idea was birthed by Jared Foster.

The concept is simple. Pretend your video camera is a still photography camera and take a “moving portrait” of each member of your family.

Doesn’t sound all that phenomenal on the surface, I know, but take a look at this.

Click here for larger, high-def version.

People HATE having their pictures taken, right? But a few snappity-snap-snaps and it’s over. Kind of like a shot. The sharp burst of pain up front is worth it for the long term pay-off.

Not always the same with video.

Your subject knows that thing is rolling and capturing every moment. It’s excruciating for them. You know it. They know it. It’s written on their faces and therefore, written on the video.

However.

After the first few painful moments, something enchanting happens. Not all of them, but most of them, transition from powerless and uncomfortable, to deliberately silly. It’s almost as if our human nature brings us to this place where we realize we have two options. We can either look unintentionally ridiculous or intentionally ridiculous. And when we find ourselves at that intersection, there’s really only one direction in which to travel.

My Family Portrait for the year 2008 was filmed during the November and December holidays. As you can see my in-laws are terrific. We alternate families each year, so this edition was my wife’s side of the family. They had so much fun and tolerated me with more class and dignity than I deserved. I hope that years from now we will all look back and say that this little bit of medicine, that we each (myself included) stood still and took with more than a fair share of reluctance, was well worth the gift of letting our children and grandchildren see a younger version of ourselves smile directly into a camera and act like complete dorks.Popular Posts:

Feeling Betrayed By Your Feed Reader?

dewde — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 04:18:16 +0000

My apologies. I accidentally published a draft. I have 18 of them at the moment and if I continue on my current path, each draft stands about a 50% chance of becoming an actual post. I’m not a power blogger like Human3rror of Church Crunch or Loswhit. I blog mostly for my girls and partly for myself. I do it here, openly and online, because I place significant value on the review, encouragement and admonition of my ideals.

One day I may actually write a post on why I don’t think Jesus was an effeminate hippy wussbag, and why I don’t think he wants me to be one either. But not today.

Great. Now I even have an flippin awesome title. Jesus Was Not An Effeminate Hippy Wussbag. Survival probability just increased by 25% easy. For now, however, the concept is resting comfortably in the section of my WordPress admin panel lovingly referred to as… drafts.Popular Posts:

Inauguration Day, Expletives, and Racial Slurs

dewde — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 14:12:37 +0000

My formative middle and junior high school years were woven together against the backdrop of several USAF communities in the United Kingdom. Quite simply, I loved it there. I missed it after we left. And once, over ten years ago, I went back. I brought this girl with me, and I asked her to forgo all other men on this planet save me. England is special to me for many, many reasons.

But it wasn’t all moon pies and snickerdoodles.

On occasion the British youth would pass the time by shouting insults out of cars as they passed. Or spray painting “YANKS GO HOME!” on the sides of our houses. Or throwing pebbles at our windows at night and then calling us wankers as they ran off into the dark. I remember loving it there, but it was not my home. It was impossible not to notice a cultural us-versus-them undercurrent. I was young, but I still remember missing my country, my lady, my America.

She and I were reunited again in 1990, at the start of my sophomore year of high school. My Dad had his orders and our new home would be in Georgia. South Georgia. I didn’t realize it at the time but I had moved from one foreign country to another. I had constructed an America in my mind that the real America had no inclination of honoring. This new America, this real America, was ugly, unsophisticated, Christian, and racist.

My new town had two public schools. The inner city crowd went to one. The country folk went to the other. The school I attended was approximately 80% black. In this environment white kids did not verbally or physically assault black kids. It was the other way around. For the most part I stayed out of trouble, but it did give me a front row seat to some of America’s more pronounced blemishes.

Our school had a giant white dome over the gymnasium which was prevalent regardless of where you stood outside. One morning, as I approached the school, I realized that someone had vandalized this dome the preceding night. Someone with very poor orthography and/or a severe falling out with Nigerians. In large black letters I read, “F*CK ALL NIGERS.”

I remember stopping, staring, and then thinking, “This is not my America.”

The real America, it would seem, had its own us-versus-them undercurrent. My wife, who went to the country school, has told me similar stories. She recalls one incident where a white girl was harassed in the hallway by a couple of black guys. The next day her father was arrested for patrolling the same halls, during the same time, with his shotgun. Spewing and shouting that he was going to “Kill him some niggers.” She also recalls, as if perfectly scripted from a movie, a high school football game where a cross, which had been secretly positioned outside the stadium in a field past one of the goal posts, was set ablaze to the surprise of the students, faculty, and spectators.

I think most of us can agree that today’s presidential inauguration shouldn’t be a big deal. Our new president went to Columbia and Harvard. He was an attorney, a constitutional law professor and a U.S. senator. It shouldn’t be a big deal that this man was elected president.

But it is.

It is because he is black. Because of the sorts of things I know to have happened in the early 1990s, when President-elect Obama was 29 years old and graduating from Harvard. It doesn’t seem that far away to me, really. The teenagers who grew up with me in these environments are, naturally, my age, in their early thirties. These are voters. And maybe it is because of, or in spite of, these environments that today we swear in the first black president of our country.

I didn’t vote for President-elect Obama and neither did I vote against him. I fully intend on holding him accountable for the content of his character over the color of his skin. But as I think back now on the day of the inauguration, I can not help but appreciate my lady, America, for the woman she is becoming right before my eyes.

UPDATE 2/1/2010: I chose to censor my own post and remove the expletives.Popular Posts:

The Child Brothels of Svay Pak

dewde — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 15:04:17 +0000

I recorded this yesterday. Been stuffy all week, but feel fine.

The Child Brothels of Svay Pak from dewde on Vimeo.

International Justice Mission
The new year is closing in with haste. Make it a point to do something already.Popular Posts: