Comments on: Blind-sided By a Social Worker http://dewde.com/2008/09/blind-sided-by-a-social-worker/ Becoming the man I should have been all along Wed, 03 Mar 2010 04:30:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: Adam_S http://dewde.com/2008/09/blind-sided-by-a-social-worker/comment-page-1/#comment-2361 Adam_S Mon, 15 Jun 2009 04:12:16 +0000 http://dewde.com/?p=123#comment-2361 I had something similar happen to me. We were foster parents for a 9 and 11 year old from our church. The boys were black. We are not. I lived in a mixed neighborhood in Chicago. We were on a scheduled visit to visit the boy's mom. The younger boy decided on the way to the car that he was not going to visit his mom and tried to run away. This was not a safe thing, he could not get into our home without a key. So I sat down on the corner with him in my lap. He was fighting an yelling. Someone called the police and so we had to talk to the police about why I was restraining a boy. They took the boys into the police car to collaborate the story. But then they gave the younger boy a talking to. So not quite the same results. I had something similar happen to me. We were foster parents for a 9 and 11 year old from our church. The boys were black. We are not. I lived in a mixed neighborhood in Chicago. We were on a scheduled visit to visit the boy's mom. The younger boy decided on the way to the car that he was not going to visit his mom and tried to run away. This was not a safe thing, he could not get into our home without a key. So I sat down on the corner with him in my lap. He was fighting an yelling. Someone called the police and so we had to talk to the police about why I was restraining a boy. They took the boys into the police car to collaborate the story. But then they gave the younger boy a talking to. So not quite the same results.

]]> By: Matt H. http://dewde.com/2008/09/blind-sided-by-a-social-worker/comment-page-1/#comment-89 Matt H. Fri, 19 Sep 2008 22:26:42 +0000 http://dewde.com/?p=123#comment-89 Wow, how honest. Awesome story, Chris. Wow, how honest. Awesome story, Chris.

]]> By: Turff http://dewde.com/2008/09/blind-sided-by-a-social-worker/comment-page-1/#comment-82 Turff Fri, 19 Sep 2008 00:33:16 +0000 http://dewde.com/?p=123#comment-82 In more direct response to your actual question, I think the spirit of your statement is correct. The responsibilities of parenting our children FAR outweigh shopping and other such pursuits. Its perhaps a bit unfair to parse word by word, but is a response to a blog post, so I shall parse away: my one quibble is near to end where you say "...so that we can keep our girls HAPPY" (emphasis mine). "Happy" isn't necessarily the goal. In fact, when discipline is what is needed (to learn it, and at times to administer it), they may in fact be quite UNhappy. The gist of your post is so right though. Being a good parent often means sacrifice. Frau Himmler was WAY out of order, though. Her time in government service has apparently caused her to buy in the tragically wrong mindset that the government is more capable of raising and caring for a child than a set of loving parents. As a tax payer, I apologize that one of our collective staff members inserted her misguided, misinformed nose into your already difficult (if educational) afternoon. In more direct response to your actual question, I think the spirit of your statement is correct. The responsibilities of parenting our children FAR outweigh shopping and other such pursuits. Its perhaps a bit unfair to parse word by word, but is a response to a blog post, so I shall parse away: my one quibble is near to end where you say “…so that we can keep our girls HAPPY” (emphasis mine). “Happy” isn’t necessarily the goal. In fact, when discipline is what is needed (to learn it, and at times to administer it), they may in fact be quite UNhappy.

The gist of your post is so right though. Being a good parent often means sacrifice.

Frau Himmler was WAY out of order, though. Her time in government service has apparently caused her to buy in the tragically wrong mindset that the government is more capable of raising and caring for a child than a set of loving parents. As a tax payer, I apologize that one of our collective staff members inserted her misguided, misinformed nose into your already difficult (if educational) afternoon.

]]> By: Lee http://dewde.com/2008/09/blind-sided-by-a-social-worker/comment-page-1/#comment-81 Lee Thu, 18 Sep 2008 22:09:37 +0000 http://dewde.com/?p=123#comment-81 Chris, you must be the most tolerant person I know. My own personality is too loud and confrontational to let something like this go; even though I know better. But I totally get being at a loss for words for such a situation. My dad used to tell me some fights are worth fighting, but in the end you rarely win anything, wished I’d listened to him more. Next time just sic Sydney on them! Chris, you must be the most tolerant person I know. My own personality is too loud and confrontational to let something like this go; even though I know better. But I totally get being at a loss for words for such a situation.

My dad used to tell me some fights are worth fighting, but in the end you rarely win anything, wished I’d listened to him more.

Next time just sic Sydney on them!

]]> By: Turff http://dewde.com/2008/09/blind-sided-by-a-social-worker/comment-page-1/#comment-80 Turff Thu, 18 Sep 2008 20:20:01 +0000 http://dewde.com/?p=123#comment-80 Perhaps he was blessing me. It probably would not have been one of my greater moments in terms of being His witness. But you are right. The most important step one can take when a meltdown is eminent is to find cooling rods or run like hell. Perhaps he was blessing me. It probably would not have been one of my greater moments in terms of being His witness.

But you are right. The most important step one can take when a meltdown is eminent is to find cooling rods or run like hell.

]]> By: Turff http://dewde.com/2008/09/blind-sided-by-a-social-worker/comment-page-1/#comment-79 Turff Thu, 18 Sep 2008 20:18:32 +0000 http://dewde.com/?p=123#comment-79 God blessed this woman by allowing her to encounter you rather than me. God blessed this woman by allowing her to encounter you rather than me.

]]> By: Chris F. http://dewde.com/2008/09/blind-sided-by-a-social-worker/comment-page-1/#comment-76 Chris F. Wed, 17 Sep 2008 00:58:59 +0000 http://dewde.com/?p=123#comment-76 La Leche women are indeed aggressive, militant freaks. I'm pretty sure they seek out conflict like that. Quite obnoxious. La Leche women are indeed aggressive, militant freaks. I’m pretty sure they seek out conflict like that. Quite obnoxious.

]]> By: Wendy http://dewde.com/2008/09/blind-sided-by-a-social-worker/comment-page-1/#comment-75 Wendy Tue, 16 Sep 2008 19:06:12 +0000 http://dewde.com/?p=123#comment-75 I feel your pain. I was attacked by a La Leche woman while feeding Lily from a bottle and not breastfeeding. You know, my child who had a heart surgery and couldn't breast feed, becuase I had to pump all freakin' day and add in extra calories? By the grace of God I did not KILL that lady. I still pray that she doesn't die due to her approach to strangers. I feel your pain. I was attacked by a La Leche woman while feeding Lily from a bottle and not breastfeeding. You know, my child who had a heart surgery and couldn’t breast feed, becuase I had to pump all freakin’ day and add in extra calories? By the grace of God I did not KILL that lady. I still pray that she doesn’t die due to her approach to strangers.

]]> By: Jeff B http://dewde.com/2008/09/blind-sided-by-a-social-worker/comment-page-1/#comment-74 Jeff B Mon, 15 Sep 2008 17:10:44 +0000 http://dewde.com/?p=123#comment-74 sounds like 2 people needed an old fashioned spanking. Hey i got it and i turned out okay..... right? (and one of those needing a spanking was the social worker) :-P Love! Jeff sounds like 2 people needed an old fashioned spanking. Hey i got it and i turned out okay….. right?

(and one of those needing a spanking was the social worker)

:-P

Love!
Jeff

]]> By: http://ramblingrafifi.blogspot.com/ http://dewde.com/2008/09/blind-sided-by-a-social-worker/comment-page-1/#comment-73 http://ramblingrafifi.blogspot.com/ Mon, 15 Sep 2008 16:12:20 +0000 http://dewde.com/?p=123#comment-73 It's so hard for me to keep my cool with my daughters, especially the oldest, because I know she not only hears but understands what I ask of her when I ask it of her even if it's a small thing like holding my hand through a parking lot. I wonder, are my expectations just too high? I try to put myself in her shoes when she's going crazy to figure out if I can come up with a compromise or just calm her down. I try to remember how I acted or what I was thinking when I was four but honestly all I can remember is singing silly songs about poop. I'm so under-equipped to be a parent! It’s so hard for me to keep my cool with my daughters, especially the oldest, because I know she not only hears but understands what I ask of her when I ask it of her even if it’s a small thing like holding my hand through a parking lot.

I wonder, are my expectations just too high? I try to put myself in her shoes when she’s going crazy to figure out if I can come up with a compromise or just calm her down. I try to remember how I acted or what I was thinking when I was four but honestly all I can remember is singing silly songs about poop.

I’m so under-equipped to be a parent!

]]> By: John http://dewde.com/2008/09/blind-sided-by-a-social-worker/comment-page-1/#comment-72 John Mon, 15 Sep 2008 16:08:54 +0000 http://dewde.com/?p=123#comment-72 about time for a new entry...! hehe. ... (after reading) ... wow. roenne has yet to have a major meltdown... but this gives me chills... i'm glad to hear you handled the social worker well... it may not have been so nice if she had approached me...! about time for a new entry…!

hehe.

… (after reading) …

wow. roenne has yet to have a major meltdown… but this gives me chills… i’m glad to hear you handled the social worker well… it may not have been so nice if she had approached me…!

]]> By: dewde http://dewde.com/2008/09/blind-sided-by-a-social-worker/comment-page-1/#comment-71 dewde Mon, 15 Sep 2008 15:55:14 +0000 http://dewde.com/?p=123#comment-71 I totally agree. I read a book on raising teenagers and it said, "You're not equipped to raise a kid to be more mature than you are. You represent the ceiling of maturity for your kids. So if you want them to be mature, work on yourself." Man do I have work to do! Good thing I read it 12 years early! I totally agree. I read a book on raising teenagers and it said, “You’re not equipped to raise a kid to be more mature than you are. You represent the ceiling of maturity for your kids. So if you want them to be mature, work on yourself.”

Man do I have work to do! Good thing I read it 12 years early!

]]> By: Chris F. http://dewde.com/2008/09/blind-sided-by-a-social-worker/comment-page-1/#comment-70 Chris F. Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:34:17 +0000 http://dewde.com/?p=123#comment-70 On another note, I can sympathize with the social worker's plight... if you simply drive through a Walmart parking lot with your eyes open on any given Saturday, you'll see at least several kids getting their butts spanked by some scary pissed-off parents. You gotta feel for those kids whose parents show such rage like that. Ouch. On another note, I can sympathize with the social worker’s plight… if you simply drive through a Walmart parking lot with your eyes open on any given Saturday, you’ll see at least several kids getting their butts spanked by some scary pissed-off parents. You gotta feel for those kids whose parents show such rage like that. Ouch.

]]> By: Chris F. http://dewde.com/2008/09/blind-sided-by-a-social-worker/comment-page-1/#comment-69 Chris F. Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:29:28 +0000 http://dewde.com/?p=123#comment-69 I have one minor nit: what you attribute to "the grace of God" might better be explained by road noise from the parking lot. Just a guess. My wife -- and by association, me -- have been doing the "positive discipline" thing. I suspect that a lot of these parenting techniques are near-clones of one another, but we find that sticking to the books tends to work better. Whenever we feel strangely confident that we know what we're doing and ignore the books' advice, we find ourselves in unknown territory and scrambling to catch up. It's kind of an affront to one's manhood to take parenting advice from a cheesy book series, but I'm getting used to it. I have one minor nit: what you attribute to “the grace of God” might better be explained by road noise from the parking lot. Just a guess.

My wife — and by association, me — have been doing the “positive discipline” thing. I suspect that a lot of these parenting techniques are near-clones of one another, but we find that sticking to the books tends to work better. Whenever we feel strangely confident that we know what we’re doing and ignore the books’ advice, we find ourselves in unknown territory and scrambling to catch up. It’s kind of an affront to one’s manhood to take parenting advice from a cheesy book series, but I’m getting used to it.

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