This has been a rough year for my family. Our sweet Granny passed away, or as they’re fond of saying in the South “went to be with the Lord,” shortly after New Year’s Day. Granny first belonged to Brenda but I adopted her quickly for my own. Pro-tip: You can never have too many grannies in your life. Especially ones like Doris.
Dying Isn’t For The Faint Of Heart
Neither is watching someone do it. Besides wrestling with my own emotions and grief, I was faced with helping Brenda through hers. Thankfully she had her parents and sisters to lean on. The real difficulty was helping my children make sense of it all. I can still hear them sobbing when we told them Granny would be dying very soon. The five of us hugged each other and wailed in an eery sort of unison. Looking back I think their initial display of grief was more in response to seeing Mommy and Daddy cry than a firm understanding of what the future woud hold.
The time leading up to Granny’s passing is still a blur. I remember packing for the trip at break-neck speed. I remember facetiming with Granny while she was in the hospital. “I’m fine with it, Youngins!” she kept saying in between labored breaths. “I’m fine.” Pause. “With it.” Brenda and I held each other and I told her through my tears, “You gotta be fine with us not being fine with it, Granny!”
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to take the ones we love for granted? It’s practically effortless, really. I can’t count the number of times I’ve done it with people I love, like my own mother, for example.
Speaking of which, it’s time to play a little catchup. The rest of this article is an open letter to my mother, Debi Ames, whom I don’t want to take for granted.